Sisters of the Valley Announces Lifetime CBD Salve Bounty for the Meta Employee Who Can Accept Its Cybercrime Report

California wellness company concludes month-long investigation by offering its bestselling salve to the Meta employee who can simply receive its evidence.

MERCED, CA, UNITED STATES, July 30, 2026 /EINPresswire.com/ -- The Sisters of the Valley today announced a lifetime supply of their bestselling CBD topical salve for whichever member of Meta's customer support organization is both willing and able to receive documentation regarding the company's compromised Meta Business Portfolio. The offer is not a reward for restoring the account. It is not a reward for deciding the case. It is simply a reward for providing a legitimate pathway through which the Sisters of the Valley can submit the evidence they have assembled over the past month, including business records, timelines, screenshots, and federal cybercrime reports.

"We've exhausted every recovery option available to us," said Sister Hilda. "We're not asking Meta to take our word for what happened. We're simply trying to find someone who can receive our report."

The Sisters selected their lavender-infused CBD topical salve because it seemed particularly appropriate for anyone still working in customer support. "If there really are only a handful of humans left handling customer support," Sister Camilla joked, "they're probably under tremendous stress. Our customers tell us they enjoy applying a small amount of the salve to their temples as part of their bedtime routine. The lavender aroma is also appreciated during mosquito season, and if someone has stiff shoulders after spending the day helping frustrated customers—or after sitting at a desk while AI handles most of the conversations—we hope it might make the day a little better."

The company emphasized that the bounty has no expiration date. Once a Meta employee provides a legitimate method for submitting the documentation surrounding the compromised Business Portfolio, the lifetime supply of salve will be shipped anywhere postal service is available.

The announcement concludes a three-part investigative series documenting the company's experience following the compromise of its Meta Business Portfolio. The articles describe the initial social engineering attack, the challenges of recovering through AI-assisted customer support, and a thirty-day case study documenting every recovery path attempted.

The series includes:

Part One: The Call Her Daddy Hack — how criminals impersonating podcast staff gained access to the company's Meta Business Portfolio.
Part Two: When AI Replaces Human Support, Who Helps the Small Business That Gets Hacked? — an examination of AI-assisted customer support and small business recovery.
Part Three: When You Can't Report a System Compromise: How Meta's AI Helps the Hackers — a thirty-day investigation documenting the company's recovery efforts and what was learned along the way.

The company says it hopes the series proves useful to other small businesses attempting to recover from compromised Business Portfolios and contributes to a broader discussion about improving AI-assisted recovery systems.

Sister Kate
Sisters of the Valley
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